5 Things NOT To Say When You Meet Someone

A few posts back, I expressed how I don’t like events where I am required to network. At the time I noted that I should probably take a class and try and pick up a couple of tips that would help me. And so I did.

I found a class here in Houston, hosted by my favorite Continuing Ed folks (that’s the Texan in me speaking), Leisure Learning Limited. I have taken several classes over the years with them and the classes have always been very helpful. I recommend them highly.

Back to networking, I attended a class “Corporate & Social Success – Mastering the Mingle” taught by Maria Bassa. The class was only an hour and a half but Ms. Bassa was a very engaging instructor and I picked up a couple of tips from her that I want to share with you.

Ms. Bassa emphasized that here in America “we are expected to make instant connections even though they may not lead to deep friendships”. These connections have a huge impact on all of us in both social and professional interactions. When you make a connection with someone, you are inclined to view that person positively, and want to develop the connection further whether it is by offering them a job, making a business deal or becoming friends.

One way to make a positive connection is to “mind your language”. There are certain things that we say that actually make a negative impression on others and especially on strangers. Here are Bassa’s tips on 5 Things NOT To Say When You Meet Someone:

1. Don’t play guessing games such as asking people, “Remember Me?” or “Guess my age?”

• Everyone has trouble remembering names. Don’t put someone on the spot. Instead, introduce yourself and tell the person where you met.

2. Don’t say, “I don’t drink, smoke, take coffee etc.”

• This is not the time to announce your don’ts. It separates you from the other person. Simply say, “No, thank you”.

3. Don’t say, “I have a great idea.”

• People take that as too aggressive. Instead say, “How about . . .?”

4. Don’t be negative.

• Save your complaints for another time even though you may have some valid gripes. You want people to remember you as a positive person. No one likes negativity. In particular don’t complain about your ex or your job. People will question your judgment.

5. Don’t remind people of the promises they have not kept.

• Instead say, “You had indicated that you might be able to . . .”

Do you have other tips that you can share with us?

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