Is Romantic Love Enough?

After the Royal Wedding yesterday, it seems that the most common phrase on everyone’s lips is “how romantic”.

And yes, the wedding was beautiful and Kate Catherine and William did look very much in love, but I sure hope they have much more than romantic love.

Perhaps we need to consider exactly what true love is and be sure that we are seeking and choosing the right love and not chasing only the romance.

In the wake of all the romantic feelings aroused by the royal wedding, I share with you one of my favorite poems and hope that it will remind us what true love is all about.


Not Love, Perhaps by A.S.J. Tessimond

This is not Love, perhaps,
Love that lays down its life,
that many waters cannot quench,
nor the floods drown,
But something written in lighter ink,
said in a lower tone, something, perhaps, especially our own.

A need, at times, to be together and talk,
And then the finding we can walk
More firmly through dark narrow places,
And meet more easily nightmare faces;
A need to reach out, sometimes, hand to hand,
And then find Earth less like an alien land;
A need for alliance to defeat
The whisperers at the corner of the street.

A need for inns on roads, islands in seas,
Halts for discoveries to be shared,
Maps checked, notes compared;
A need, at times, of each for each,
Direct as the need of throat and tongue for speech.

Conversation Fridays - Tornados and Royal Weddings

Red Jade: My heart goes out to all the people affected by the tornados in the South and Midwest. I heard a story on NPR this evening about how one boy survived when their house was leveled to the ground. He was snapped up by the tornado just when his father touched him to wake him up and get him out of bed. The 8 year old boy then floated down and walked out of the rubble to find his family. Their house was reduced to rubble. Check out the story here, http://www.npr.org/2011/04/28/135812706/witness-recalls-deadly-tuscaloosa-tornado. It's a true miracle. The tornado literally saved him by lifting him out of his bed before the same tornado leveled the house!

Rafiki: Wow that is definitely a miracle for the Eppes family. It was interesting watching the CBS evening news today and seeing so many survivors talking about how grateful they are though they lost everything. One couple hid under the bed and everything was destroyed in their house except the mattress that hid them. It reminds all of us that we need very little and even when we are stripped to the bare bottom, we have everything we need.

Red Jade: So true. Unfortunately it takes tough times for most of us to remember how fortunate we really are. To have our families, to be in good health, that's all that matters and for that I am really grateful. Talking of families, some peeps are about to create a family of their own - the royal wedding is about to start in a few hours. All the pomp and circumstance can be really interesting to watch but no way am I getting up at 5 am CST to watch it live. Lots of restaurants here in Houston are hosting viewing parties at that hour. Are you going to any?

Rafiki: No I am not. I was wondering why I cannot seem to get into the festivities. I will watch the wedding on TV and see all the things I love about weddings like the dress, cake, decor, etc. but I am not sure I would wake up at 5am to watch a wedding of someone I do not really know. I always wonder about that, as long as I have been in the US, the celebrity culture baffles me. We are all people and I am not sure that what we do defines us. Anyway I still get to witness history in the evening news and that is good enough for me. How about you?

Red Jade: Am with you on that crazy celebrity culture that is around us and I don't get it. Why should I spend time, energy, money, opportunity cost, etc. to watch or follow someone around as they live their life. Seems like there is something wrong with that picture. When do I get to live my own life? For the royal wedding, I do admit that I like the pomp and circumstance surrounding it more than the wedding details. But I will be the first one to say that the monarchy should be done away with. Granted I don't have a vote in Britain, so what I think really does not count. It does seem like an awful waste of taxpayer money for a monarchy that is mainly ceremonial. Nevertheless, I do wish them every happiness.

Rafiki: The wedding may not wake me up but I will feel like we have lost all links to our ancient culture if there was not a queen or king anywhere in the world. The wedding is definitely a big deal . . . the Washington Post published a royal wedding watch survival guide at http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/royal-wedding-watch/post/royal-wedding-watch-survival-guide/2011/04/25/AFyU6IrE_blog.html.

Red Jade: Wow, this is a very detailed guide outlining the time line of the whole event plus all the networks that are covering the wedding, Let me check it out in detail so I will have something to talk about at the water cooler tomorrow. Enjoy!

USCIS recognizes outstanding achievements of naturalized US citizens

I was surprised to discover that the US recognizes outstanding naturalized citizens. It was encouraging to learn that you can make a difference no matter where you are or where you come from. 
The Outstanding American by Choice initiative recognizes the outstanding achievements of naturalized U.S. citizens. Through civic participation, professional achievement, and responsible citizenship, recipients of this honor have demonstrated their commitment to this country and to the common civic values that unite us as Americans.
Throughout the year, USCIS will recognize naturalized citizens who have made significant contributions to both their community and their adopted country. The award recipient for 2011 was Gerda Weissmann Klein.


Gerda Weissmann Klein

Founder, Citizenship Counts; Holocaust Survivor; Author; and Human Rights Activist
Phoenix, Arizona

.

Citizenship Counts was founded by Gerda Weissmann Klein who wanted to teach today’s youth and the greater community-at-large that American citizenship is a gift that should not be taken for granted. Mrs. Klein is a humanitarian, author, human rights activist, Holocaust survivor and a proud naturalized citizen of the United States. For more than six decades, Mrs. Klein has captivated audiences worldwide with her powerful messages of hope, inspiration, love and humanity.


Mrs. Klein was born in 1924 in Bielsko, Poland. In 1939 her life changed when German troops invaded her hometown of Bielsko. From 1939 until the end of World War II she lived in fear and deprivation. After being separated from her brother shortly after the invasion and from her parents in 1942, she worked in slave labor and concentration camps until she was forced to walk in a 350-mile death march. She never lost the will to live. When World War II ended in 1945, she was left homeless and without family or friends. Despite all that was lost, she found a fairy-tale ending when she married her liberator, U.S. Army Intelligence Officer, Kurt Klein. Two years after she immigrated to the United States, Mrs. Klein became an American citizen. The story of their meeting and life together was documented in her autobiography, All But My Life, which has been in print for 53 years, in 62 editions and has been read by countless students around the world.

Check out the other inspirational stories of award recipients on the USCIS website.  
Source: USCIS website

Fashion Choices That Could Hurt Your Health

I thought I knew what fashion choices to avoid but apparently I only know the half of it!

I took this quiz on the Dr. Oz website and sadly scored a 50%. From a too heavy handbag to my sunglass choices, I have learnt that I could be making better choices.

Questions on the quiz include, "What is the most dangerous shoe according to podiatrists - Stilletos, Flip-flops, Wedges, Knee-high boots?? You will be shocked by the answer.

Take the quiz to find out the answer as well as other illuminating fashion mistakes that can cause you serious injuries. Let us know your score - a gold star for you if you get 100%.

Here is My Goal, What's yours?

I love Easter for so many reasons first of which is that it reminds me of the cross without which I would not have hope and zeal for this gift of life that I have been given. I also love all the spring colors and beautiful weather. It is another opportunity to get together with family and friends which is always enriching. Like Red Jade mentioned in her previous post we had a blast this Sunday. Amidst the stories and laughter we discussed why we struggle with discipline and we decided we will hold each other accountable as we each try to attain to a specific goal.

My goal is to learn how to sew well. I have dabbled with sewing in the past and have always wanted to take it seriously and use it as a creative outlet. To raise the bar of accountability, I plan to post a picture of something I have made by the end of May. I hope to make clothes (simple patterns to start with), make curtains, do some embroidery and make pillows. I would love to hear from you if you want to join me in this challenge. When I first came to the United States I was surprised at all the opportunities for do-it-yourself projects. I am learning that using my hands to create something is very therapeutic and will help me build a valuable skill. You never know....maybe we will be competing on Project Runway someday:-)

Here are some of the resources I will be using
http://www.sewing.org/index.html
http://studiokatdesigns.blogspot.com/
http://www.newdressaday.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHVxpLGmhVk

A Powerful Way To Develop Discipline

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I had a great time at Rafiki’s house – probably too much of a good time. The late lunch that started at 3:00pm did not end until 10:30pm! Good food, great friends, lots of laughter, stimulating conversation – a good time all around.

One of the conversations centered on the challenges we experience of maintaining discipline to do the things that we want to do. Turns out each of us has certain goals but progress has been painfully slow.

Everyone admitted that their goal was not difficult - we just need to get it done. One of our friends suggested that we need to hold each other accountable so that we can support each other. Everyone enthusiastically agreed and we came up with this accountability plan:

1. Everyone(group of six) stated a goal that they were willing to work on and report progress every week.
2. Once a week we will have short conference call, where we will each report on what we did regarding the stated goal.
3. The team will decide if each person’s report is acceptable i.e. did you actually accomplish something that week.
4. If you fail to do anything that week then you have to pay a penalty of $50.
5. Any penalties collected will go to charity.

For my goal, I committed to wake up at 7am every morning. Typically, I get up at 8am because I sleep pretty late, around 1 or even 2am. And I need my 8 hours of sleep to function properly. This means that usually I don’t get enough sleep. It also means that I waste a lot of time during the day because once I come home from work, I am too tired to do much.

I figure if I can get up at 7am, I can accomplish a couple of things before I go to work and therefore have a more productive day. To accomplish this it means that I have to go to bed much earlier than I have been used to, say 11pm. It’s now after midnight so I am one hour past my bedtime. Time to get ready for bed, set that clock for 7am and hit the sack. If nothing else, I am not trying to pay $50.

So has anyone tried something like this before? We would love to hear how you develop and maintain discipline.

To post a comment, click here.

8 Myths about Black Natural Hair

1. Black should not be washed often.

I grew up believing that you do not need to wash black hair very often. However I have learned that when my hair is dry, it breaks easily. Water is the best moisturizer for natural hair which needs to be washed often to remove buildup of oils and dust. I wash my hair once a week when I am wearing a protective style and twice a week when I am wearing it out. I also do a protein treatment monthly to keep it strong and reduces breakage.

2. You should oil your scalp often.

I have learned that it is important to allow your scalp to breath. I have not oiled my scalp in years and have had a flake of dandruff. The scalp needs to be kept clean and allowed to breath. Regular scalp massages are also good for hair growth. Oil is great to seal in the moisture in your hair and should be applied to the ends of the hair after spraying water or a moisturizing spritz.

3. You need to trim your hair every six weeks.

The only reason to trim your hair is to style it or to remove damaged ends. If you keep your ends well moisturized, they will stay healthy and you will not have to keep trimming your length. If your hair is damaged then trim and work at preventing future damage by paying special attention to your ends when moisturizing and avoiding heat damage by using heat protectants. You only trim your ends when you notice damage on your hair.

4. Some people have good hair.

This is one of my worst pet peeves. Hair health depends on how well you take care of it. There has not been much research done on hair care products for natural black hair which is why most of us do not have a clue on how to make it look its best. Even very thick natural black hair can look just as beautiful as straight hair if you take care of it and change your perception of beauty. This is so important for black parents because this belief will probably be translated to your children and they will grow up believing there is something wrong with their hair. Once you learn how to take care of their hair and yours, the texture and styling options may surprise you. I do not think that people need to stop straightening their hair but I think we all need to seriously think about what we believe about own hair and what is beautiful.

5. Black hair does not grow.

I am determined to dispel this myth. If our hair does not grow, then we would not need a retouch every 6-8 weeks. Black hair grows but breaks off easily because most of what we do to our hair is drying. That is the reason why most women can get to shoulder length and them seem to get stuck there. If you use protective styling, keep your hair moisturized, drink water and eat a health diet, your  hair will grow unless you have an illness.

6. Natural hair is hard to manage.

The reason permed hair seems easier to manage is because there are so many products and salons that can style permed hair. The options are fewer for natural hair though it is getting better. The most important thing is to understand that you cannot take care of natural hair the same way you did your permed hair. There has to be a willingness to getting to know your hair and learn how to take care of it. Most of us just do not know our hair very well or give up too easily.

7. You cannot comb black natural hair.

You will not be able to get a comb through your natural hair the same way as you did your straight hair. The question to ask is, do you need to comb your hair as often as you did when wearing permed hair. The biggest thing to to learn when to comb your hair. All kinds of hairs tangles and you have to learn how to detangle and when and where to do it. I have found that wet hair is much easier to manipulate than dry hair. If I am wearing my hair in a style that needs combing (which I rarely do) I spray my hair with a spritz and then comb my hair. However I have learnt to wear low manipulation styles that I can easily finger style.

8. If I went natural, I would have to lock my hair.

There are beautiful lock styles out there but if you are like me and enjoy changing your hair style, then you may want more options. This YouTube video is a testament to just how many ways you can style your natural hair.

If you are thinking of trying a natural look, there are many resources out there to help you.  Start by buying a good moisturizer or make your own with water, oil, glycerin and honey, get a sulphate free shampoo and good leave-in conditioner. I will do a post next week on making the home-made moisturizer and reviews on other great products for our hair.

Earth Day 2011 - A Billion Acts of Green

The goal of Earth Day 2011 is to register a billion green actions that improve sustainability and reduce carbon emissions before Earth Day 2012.

Currently 40 million green actions have been pledged as personal commitments by individuals and communities.

Before deciding what my pledge would be, I took a look at some of the popular pledges to see how I was doing:

1. Eat more local food - I try to do this but I have to confess as an immigrant I can't do without some of the "imported foods" that I grew up with e.g. mango fruit. This would be really hard to do.
2. Bring your own reusable shopping bags - Check!
3. Switch off tap while brushing - On a good day, I remember to do this. Can do better.
4. Take shorter showers - there are few things I truly enjoy in life. A long hot shower is one of them and I cannot give this up. I will give up food before I give up a long hot shower.
5. Switch to energy efficient bulbs - I do this when I buy new bulbs so, Check!

For my pledge, I have decided to "get a home energy audit and follow the recommendations". I will make sure to blog about it and share with you what I learn.

In the meantime, go to "A Billion Acts of Green" and make your pledge to do something to take care of our planet Earth.

Selecting the Right Technology for your Business by Elizabeth K. Kilungu

Before making a choice on the right technology to implement for your business it is very important to outline your business goals, needs and processes. The right technology can be a tool to grow your business by improving efficiencies and lowering operating costs. The selected technology should add value and be aligned to business needs to achieve your company’s goals. The wrong choice can quickly become costly and time-consuming.

These are some ideas to keep in mind when choosing the right technology.

What do we do?
Evaluate what the business does and its strategic goals. Define needs that support those goals.

Examples:
Goal: Increase Revenue
Business need: Market our products to potential customers to increase sales

Goal: Achieve Customer Satisfaction.
Business need: Provide customer support in a timely manner

How is it done?
Examine current business processes and write down the day to day, monthly, quarterly and annual activities. Map out process work flows; identify dependencies between activities and tools used.  Consider future processes to accommodate growth, competition, mergers or regulatory compliance policies. Engage those who are most familiar with processes to get their input. Make a note of what works well, redundancies, gaps and challenges. This is an opportunity to streamline processes.

Example:
Business process: Marketing sends advertisement mail-outs to customers every month
Future process: Marketing needs to send advertisements via multiple channels several times a month.
Challenges: Customer list is stored in different systems
Redundancies: Customer information is duplicated resulting in customers receiving multiple mail outs.
Gap: Sending mail-outs only limits the potential customer base


What do we need?
List the identified processes and provide high level details for what is expected to support it. These are referred to as “requirements”, have a reason that ties back directly or indirectly to a business need. There could be several requirements to support a process.

Example:
Business need: Market our products to potential customers to generate sales.
Process: Send advertisement mail-outs to customers every month

Requirement: I need customer contact information i.e. names, physical and email address, important dates (for special occasions)
Why: The contact information is necessary to communicate with our customers

Requirement: I need to send emails to customers bi-weekly.
Why: To announce upcoming sales

Requirement: I need to send brochures to customers quarterly.
Why: To provide details on available products

What is important?
Prioritize the list of requirements by assigning each to one of these categories: 1 “must have” is an essential function;  2 “nice to have” is a want but not a need;  and 3 “low” a desired function but can do without it.

Example of requirements assigned to the categories:

“Must have”   I need to have customer contact information i.e. names, mailing and
                        email address, dates
                        I need to send emails to customers bi-weekly.
                        I need to send brochures to customers quarterly.

“Nice to have”  I would like to advertise on social networking sites i.e. face book and
                         twitter
                         I would like to advertise with posters

 “Low” I would like to send customers video and audio advertisements


How do I choose?
Focus on reviewing products that have features that support at a minimum the “must have” requirements. During the evaluation simulate different business scenarios to see how the selected products would work. Be open to performing tasks in a different way to automate processes to improve productivity and quality. Make sure to use several common and unique scenarios on different products. Consider dependencies and integration with existing systems. Inquire on how the product could provide a solution for gaps and challenges identified in the processes.

How much will it cost?
Perform a cost vs. benefit analysis to determine how the proposed technology will add value to your operations to make it worth the investment. The cost for a product may be low however support and maintenance fees can be high or vice versa. More expensive does not necessarily mean it’s the best solution. Once a solution is found that meets the needs of the business select the product.

Figure 1:Process for selecting the right technology


Recommended resource
Provides reviews and compares different technology products http://www.toptenreviews.com/

You can add comments to this article or contact Elizabeth directly. Her contact information is listed below
Elizabeth K. Kilungu
Lizk2008@yahoo.com

Do We Need Any More Proof That Vegetarian Food Is Unappealing?

It's hard to know what to believe anymore. Am I the only one who thought that the food pictures in magazines were the result of the accompanying recipe? Call me naive, but I truly thought that those pictures were taken right after the recipe was made.

Well, it turns out that many magazines use stock pictures and, horrors of all horrors, some of those pictures are airbrushed! No wonder my food never looks like the picture in the recipe. So how, did I find this out?

The other day I was listening to NPR when I heard that "VegNews" had been busted (by a blogger) for using stock photos of real meat ribs and claiming the picture was "Vegan Spare Ribs". And VegNews actually airbrushed the ribs out of the stock photo to make it look meatless! Using stock photos of the real food is one thing, but using stock photos of meat dishes and passing them off as vegan is a new low.

I have to say that on the radio interview the publisher did apologize but he did not sound apologetic at all. He claimed that it was standard industry practice and that they had to do it for budgetary reasons. It was clear he did not understand why his vegan readers were up in arms at this deception. How clueless! Seriously, what have these people been smoking?

African Girl with Natural Hair Series:The Journey

I have had natural hair since June, 2006. It has been one of the most interesting journeys I have ever taken. It has come with some surprising discoveries about myself and a whole lots of lessons about hair.

 I decided to cut my hair because I was very curious about my natural hair. My hair was permed since I was 14 years old and I did not remember what my real texture hair felt or looked like. Before I went natural, I did not spend a lot of time thinking about how I would look or how people would react, I just knew it was something I wanted to do. For the first two years I had no idea how to take care of my hair.

Unfortunately I did not document my hair journey very well but I will try to share some pictures though some of them are not very good. Here is my only picture after I did the big chop. It is very blurry because it is a low resolution picture. I loved this look because it was so easy to take care of. I washed my hair everyday and put a leave-in moisturizer from time to time.

This was the next picture I could find. It probably took 6-8 months to grow my hair to this length. I still had no clue on what to do and the products I needed to take care of it. Water was still my best friend partly in part because I enjoy washing my hair and it was such a treat that I could wash and wear it.

These two pictures are my attempts of styling my hair. I had been growing my hair for about two and a half years and had learnt a lot more about taking care of it. One is my version of a banded afro and the other is a twist out.

This style is was my fist attempt to wear a natural style for a formal event. I loved this hair do an it convinced me that I could wear my natural hair for any occasion. It was a flat twist and single double strand twist style done by Tonya at Uncle Funky's daughter. If you are ever in Houston, Texas and need natural hair styling; it is the place to go. They have since created some great natural hair products that can be purchased on their website.

I will write a series of posts about what I have learnt from growing out my natural hair but here are some of the things I have learnt.

• Black hair can definitely grow. You do not have to be mixed to grow long hair. 
• Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize! I cannot say this enough. Our hair is dry and needs moisture to stop it from breaking. I started out by mixing water with cooking oils in my kitchen such as olive oil or coconut oil. 
• As you take care of your hair, you may be surprised by seeing what you may consider a texture change. It is just the way your hair is responding to the care you are giving it. 
• Some products are not good for our hair such as mineral oil and petroleum. They coat the hair and make it hard to moisturize
• Protective styling helps give your hair a break. 

This was my hair in December of 2009. I will post some more recent pictures in the upcoming blog posts. I hope the pictures that I have posted so far will encourage you to take the step if you are thinking about it. The following resources were invaluable to me on my journey
http://www.naturalhairrules.com/
http://www.afrobella.com/
http://bglhonline.com/ which used to be http://blackgirllonghair.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/kimmaytube
http://www.youtube.com/user/Longhairdontcare2011