Parenting Bi-cultural Children-A Question of Identity?

At some point in our lives we ask this question; Who Am I? For some people, this is an easy question to  answer but for others it takes years of discovery. This is especially true for children raised by immigrant parents. Their parents have strong roots in another culture that is distinctly different from the way they are growing up, they speak a different language, have different traditions and a different lifestyle from many of their friends. Identity is a highly complex issue that cannot be tackled in one blog post but to start off the conversation, I talked to two brilliant young women who were raised in the US by immigrant parents. Here is what Ruth Githumbi had to say......


"Being in a bi-cultural home is more impactful than even those of us who live it can fully understand. For many of us, there is a feeling of being torn between two worlds...Kenyan and American. I think the feeling is compounded for those, like myself, that were born in America. This creates a disconnected feeling to the country that birthed your entire family. Especially if you don't speak your mother tongue. There is always a feeling of connection to Kenya, but it is not the same as someone who had been born there. The same can be said for America; although it is my birth country and home, I still feel a disconnect to some of the practices/ideals, etc. 


"I wish my mother could realize that culture cannot be called on cue. When being raised as an American as I was, it's hard to switch over to being Kenyan when it is convenient for your parents. For example (just an example, really not my life), you live the American dream by going to college to obtain a career, but you are supposed to be the traditional Kenyan housewife/mother. That leaves one almost feeling like they are living a double-life. It takes time to reconcile the two cultures in adulthood, but it can be done by truly appreciating each aspect of yourself. Your upbringing has such an impact on your personality/morals/values it is important to reconcile the emotions and experiences so that you can develop a real sense of your Kenyan-American self. 


"I think the biggest piece of advice I would give is to never be afraid to express your culture to your children. I believe with Reagan in the 80s, there was a cultural push to integrate and assimilate which caused many Kenyan parents (probably many other immigrant parents as well) to sideline many cultural practices in order for their children to feel accepted. I understand the logic but I love to see a child born in America speaking swahili/kikuyu etc. We are at a time of rampant inter-racial marriage so it's important to keep our culture alive with our children. I have to somehow learn two languages before my children are born. Yikes!


" I also think it would be great to establish a Kenyan community center for these kids to learn their roots. I find the one pitfall with the African-American community to be the fact that they are a lost people. It is crucial to self-esteem to know your lineage. Never forget to talk about Kenya and definitely make frequent trips to keep the children connected. Basically, find a way to fuse the amazing aspects of both cultures for your children."


........................the conversation will continue over the next couple of weeks. Let us know what you think about biculturalism and parenting.