DFW International Community Alliance—Bringing Immigrant Communities Together

Lots of interesting things happening in Dallas, Texas. I recently came across the website for the DFW International Community Alliance, a network of organizations serving the immigrant communities in the region. In most of these communities the members are either first or second generation Americans.

The goal of the alliance is to "build mutual understanding and respect by linking diverse international cultural communities".

To this end, the alliance publishes a cultural calendar highlighting all the global inspired events in the DFW area.

Current listings include Feng Shui, French lessons, Congolese films, Argentinian tango classes and Celtic harp concerts. There is something for everyone with many opportunities to learn more about new cultures and of course to enjoy your own.

Check out the calendar here and try something new this week.

Culture—Learning about Business (and Life) from the Movies

We have talked before, in our post about "Culture Shock", about taking active steps to learn the culture of your adopted country. The more often you engage with the new culture, the easier and faster it will be for you to settle down and feel at home in your new country.

In a narrower sense, the same applies to your career. What is the culture surrounding your chosen career? Bloomberg Businessweek has profiled the, "Top 30 Must-See Movies for Business Students". What sets these movies apart though, is that they were selected by deans at the top 30 business schools in the country. They were asked to name their favorite business movie and explain their choice.

The list contains movies you are likely familiar with. I watched several of them long before I went to B-school and so was focused on the entertainment value of the movie rather than the lessons contained therein. If you are in the business of making money, it would be insightful to watch these movies again.

I recently watched "Wall Street" again and in the light of the recent and not-so recent shenanigans and excesses on the real Wall Street, it was a stark reminder of the choices we are all faced with: ethics and integrity vs money and power.

With movies on the list like "Wall Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life", that 1946 classic that shows business is not all evil, you have a rich list of movies that you can immerse yourself in and emerge smarter and wiser about the business world and life in general.

What Language/s Should You Teach Your Children?

I had an interesting debate about language with some friends this weekend. We talked about if immigrants should teach their children their native language and if they do, what language should they teach if the parents do not share a native language. People had different opinions about the subject but the two dominant camps were

• You should definitely teach one of the native languages. Which language to teach depends on culture and what both parents can agree on. 
• Your children will not belong to your native country and therefore do not need to learn any of the native languages. It is more useful to teach them a language that is commonly used such as Spanish in the US. 

This conversation got me thinking about the importance of language and if it really matters. This is what I found out...

• Language is not only a communication tool but a key element in social integration and cultural development. 
• The lack of language makes one feel inadequate even when they have many strengths. 
• Language gives people a sense of identity. 
• Language is the beginning of understanding cultural heritage. 
• Language can strengthen family ties.

The good news is kids can learn more than one language at a time. It is very important that children can communicate with friends in their present environment so it is important that they learn the language of their current country. The goal may not be to teach the children to speak the native language fluently but to help them communicate with their relatives in their native country. Immigrant parents definitely have a hard job because they need to teach their children to adapt to a culture they did not grow up in and also have some ties to a culture that their children will not grow up in. Each family has to weigh their options and make this decision. My encouragement to you is no matter which way you choose to go, make the decision early in the child's life.

Nelson Mandela said “if you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head " but if you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart”.

Sources: 
http://elsawyllie.blogspot.com/2009/02/importance-of-language.html
http://nasrul11.blogspot.com/2007/05/immigrants-suffer-from-losing-their.html
http://www.canadianimmigrant.ca/settlingincanada/parenting/article/8172

We would love to hear your thoughts on what has worked in your family.

What I miss the most!

Watching the devastating effects of the Tsunami this past week made me think about the Japanese who live abroad and what they must be going through trying to find out how their loved ones are doing. I realized that no matter how long you stay in another country, you will always have ties to where you came from. It got me thinking that though I love living in the US there are things I miss about Kenya

1. The simplicity of life: I think of my grandmother and how peaceful and full her life is and yet she does not have some of the things we cannot do without like cell phones and ipads. 
2. The sincerity of the people: Many people seek relationships without any alterior motives. They are willing to share whatever they have and give of themselves. I love how my mother and her friends find time to support each other through life. 
3. Being surrounded by extended family: I especially think that this is important for young families. It is great for the kids to grow up around grandparents and great grandparents. Parenting becomes like a partnership and takes some of the pressure away from the parents. 
4. The pace of life: Though I love the energy of US and being driven by goals and accomplishments, I miss slowing down and connecting with friends and family and getting to know them in a deeper way.  

What about you? What do you miss the most?

The Golden Rule Overturned!

Would it be blasphemy to turn “The Golden Rule” on its head? Remember, the rule that says “Do unto others as you would wish them do unto you”? I think society would be better served if we asked people to “Do unto others as they would like done unto them”.

People have different values, likes and dislikes. To ask people to treat each other like we would like to be treated, is missing the point. I believe the Golden Rule is about values like respect and kindness that we all share. But there the message dies, because it is difficult for us to identify what others consider to be respect and kindness. We think that there is only one version of respect – our version.

However, when you live among people of different cultures then it’s likely that your version of respect may be someone’s version of an insult. Take time to learn at least the basic differences in communication styles between your culture and others.

The Golden Rule is universal and its message is echoed in several religions: Buddhism, Christianity, Confucianism, Hinduism, Judaism, Islam, Taoism, Zoroastrianism. Click here to read each quote from TeachingValues.com.

Being an immigrant sometimes really messes with your head . . .

This is the first installment of our "Conversation Fridays" series. The topic will change each week. Be part of the conversation by adding your comments! (Here's how you post a comment.)

Red Jade: Being an immigrant sometimes really messes with your head. Sometimes I don't know where I belong. My family thinks I am too American but Americans think/know I am not American - too foreign they say!

Rafiki: I feel that way often. I am not American enough neither am I Kenyan enough. It can be hard to find a place.

Red Jade: And yet, I am not trying to choose because I can't deny the influence of the culture I was raised up in and the influence of the culture I now find myself in . . . have been in for the last 15 years!

Rafiki: I have learnt to create a new normal that embraces where I was born and where I live now. These things make me the person that I am. I no longer feel the pressure to choose. When was the first time you realized you had changed?

Red Jade: Probably when I reached the point where I had the courage to live my life on my own terms, rather than to live by what was expected of me. I don't think it was being here in the US per se that created that. I think it could have happened in any other country. Rather it was because being away from home, I really learnt how to live on my own and to rely on myself.

Rafiki: We eventually come into our own but living away from home definitely accelerates the process. I was in school with Americans most of my first year in the US. At some point I spent time with some Kenyans that had just arrived and we seemed worlds apart. I was surprised I felt so different after one year. Change happens fast especially when you immerse yourself in the culture and learn as much as you can. Do you think we can live in a different country and not change at all? What are the consequences of that?

Red Jade: The key word is "immersion". Your degree of immersion will determine how much the new culture influences you. And immersion can be by choice or necessity. I think to flourish in a new place, you need to immerse yourself. Think about a new job, your chances of success are higher if you fit into the work culture and you can either already fit in when you walk in the door or you can work at it. Obviously it's better to be proactive rather than reactive so I would prefer to choose whether to immerse myself. If nothing else, it means that you are somehow controlling the influences around you.

Rafiki: That makes a lot of sense and immersion does not necessarily mean embracing every new thing. It means being clear about what you have to do and why. It also means that you are clear who you are, which will ground you. There is so much to see and learn and it can get overwhelming if you are not clear about what will be beneficial to you and what will not be beneficial. It is also important to identify sub cultures so that you decide how you want to be identified. Industries have subcultures; for example working in a bank is very different from working in an ad agency and we need to do different things to adapt. I love something I once heard that gave me some sort of new identity: we are children of the world. That was pretty cool.

Red Jade: Yeah, I definitely consider myself a world citizen. I used to read a lot as a kid and I visited many places and experienced many cultures through all that reading. I think even before I left home, I had "changed" in my mind and my heart, even though my lifestyle may not have shown that.

Rafiki: We are the beginning of a new generation of people who will live in many places, have relationships with people from all over the world and identify with various cultures. My world has definitely been enriched by the experience and as long as I am not trying to fit into a certain mold or be a certain way I can be at home with myself and accept the new normal. We can learn, grow and change without losing ourselves. What has changed the most about you?

Red Jade: I definitely appreciate the opportunity to have had all the experiences I have had, and my life is so much richer. The biggest change I have experienced is self-development and through that I have learnt that there is more to life than just making a living. Now I am focused on achieving Maslow's highest identified need of "Self-Actualization".

Rafiki: The journey to self-actualization continues, I cannot wait to see what we become from the influences of multiple worlds which will forever be a part of who we are. I bet there are numerous stories out there about how people deal with living between two worlds.

Red Jade: Want to join the conversation? How has being away from home changed you? When was the moment that you realized the change? What has the reaction of your family at home been? How do you navigate between the different cultures? Post a comment to join the conversation.