The Elusive Inner Ring

One of my favorite authors is C.S. Lewis. His writing always causes me to think more deeply and desire to live more authentically. His article "The inner ring" does not disappoint in provoking me to think about who sits at the table when I make my life decisions. I do not mean who I go to for advice or who is physically present when I am making decisions but whose opinions drive me to make the choices I make.

Most of us would like to think that we are free to make our own decisions but many of us have people or groups of people whose acceptance of our decisions matters more than our own dreams. We want to feel like we did the right things, made someone proud and fit in with our peers. Inherently there is nothing wrong with wanting to belong unless our need to be in the inner circle drives us away from who we are. Here are some excerpts from the article

"All this is rather obvious. I wonder whether you will say the same of my next step, which is this. I believe that in all men’s lives at certain periods, and in many men’s lives at all periods between infancy and extreme old age, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside. "

"Let Inner Rings be unavoidable and even an innocent feature of life, though certainly not a beautiful one: but what of our longing to enter them, our anguish when we are excluded, and the kind of pleasure we feel when we get in? "

As an immigrant I live in the tension of the opportunities I have been given and the desire to follow my heart to places that may not make sense based on where I am coming from. Many people would be willing give up a lot to have the opportunities of living abroad. Living with the reality that you have an opportunity that many would love creates a responsibility. It also creates a tension when my desires lead me back to the simple life and away from all the things that make for a "progressive" society. It seems so important to appear successful, to be part of the inner circle of those that who 'have it together and have made it big"

I often think that the worlds biggest problems are lack of food, water, extreme poverty and disease around the world. Those are the problems that we should be solving. Yet I have not chosen to be a farmer neither have I chosen to dig wells. There is nothing wrong with being in the corporate world but many of us landed here because we were obligated by the opportunities that we have been given. Take some time to evaluate the inner circles you need to belong to and mentally look at each of the members straight in the face. If the expectations and desires are not true to who you are, take one last look and say goodbye. In time you will find a place where you are celebrated, where you do not need to be invited because you are always welcome. C.S. Lewis writes..

"The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surprising result will follow. If in your working hours you make the work your end, you will presently find yourself all unawares inside the only circle in your profession that really matters. You will be one of the sound craftsmen, and other sound craftsmen will know it. This group of craftsmen will by no means coincide with the Inner Ring or the Important People or the People in the Know. It will not shape that professional policy or work up that professional influence which fights for the profession as a whole against the public: nor will it lead to those periodic scandals and crises which the Inner Ring produces. But it will do those things which that profession exists to do and will in the long run be responsible for all the respect which that profession in fact enjoys and which the speeches and advertisements cannot maintain."

Have the courage to listen to that inner voice and live from your heart. Ask yourself, how can I make my greatest contribution?