Parenting Bi-cultural Children-A Question of Identity?

At some point in our lives we ask this question; Who Am I? For some people, this is an easy question to  answer but for others it takes years of discovery. This is especially true for children raised by immigrant parents. Their parents have strong roots in another culture that is distinctly different from the way they are growing up, they speak a different language, have different traditions and a different lifestyle from many of their friends. Identity is a highly complex issue that cannot be tackled in one blog post but to start off the conversation, I talked to two brilliant young women who were raised in the US by immigrant parents. Here is what Ruth Githumbi had to say......


"Being in a bi-cultural home is more impactful than even those of us who live it can fully understand. For many of us, there is a feeling of being torn between two worlds...Kenyan and American. I think the feeling is compounded for those, like myself, that were born in America. This creates a disconnected feeling to the country that birthed your entire family. Especially if you don't speak your mother tongue. There is always a feeling of connection to Kenya, but it is not the same as someone who had been born there. The same can be said for America; although it is my birth country and home, I still feel a disconnect to some of the practices/ideals, etc. 


"I wish my mother could realize that culture cannot be called on cue. When being raised as an American as I was, it's hard to switch over to being Kenyan when it is convenient for your parents. For example (just an example, really not my life), you live the American dream by going to college to obtain a career, but you are supposed to be the traditional Kenyan housewife/mother. That leaves one almost feeling like they are living a double-life. It takes time to reconcile the two cultures in adulthood, but it can be done by truly appreciating each aspect of yourself. Your upbringing has such an impact on your personality/morals/values it is important to reconcile the emotions and experiences so that you can develop a real sense of your Kenyan-American self. 


"I think the biggest piece of advice I would give is to never be afraid to express your culture to your children. I believe with Reagan in the 80s, there was a cultural push to integrate and assimilate which caused many Kenyan parents (probably many other immigrant parents as well) to sideline many cultural practices in order for their children to feel accepted. I understand the logic but I love to see a child born in America speaking swahili/kikuyu etc. We are at a time of rampant inter-racial marriage so it's important to keep our culture alive with our children. I have to somehow learn two languages before my children are born. Yikes!


" I also think it would be great to establish a Kenyan community center for these kids to learn their roots. I find the one pitfall with the African-American community to be the fact that they are a lost people. It is crucial to self-esteem to know your lineage. Never forget to talk about Kenya and definitely make frequent trips to keep the children connected. Basically, find a way to fuse the amazing aspects of both cultures for your children."


........................the conversation will continue over the next couple of weeks. Let us know what you think about biculturalism and parenting. 

Did You Know?-All about H1B Visas

USCIS (US Citizenship and immigration services) defines H1B visas as the visa category which applies to people who wish to perform services in a specialty occupation, services of exceptional merit and ability relating to a Department of Defense (DOD) cooperative research and development project, or services as a fashion model of distinguished merit or ability. Check out this great informational video which tells you what you need to know about the H1B visa.

Immigration Issues Keeping You Awake At Night?

We know you have many questions about immigration but we are neither lawyers nor immigration experts and therefore we have hesitated to write about immigration issues.

Majority of the legal information that exists on the internet is poorly written and organized. I don’t understand why lawyers write for Jane and Joe Public using big words and legal concepts that most people have never heard of.

Luckily, Rafiki found an excellent immigration blog written by Christina Crudden, an immigration attorney in Philadelphia, PA. I have spent a lot of time reading this blog and I like it!

It is clearly written and well organized in separate topics. Most importantly, Ms. Crudden avoids legalese (the legal mumbo jumbo that most lawyers like to use), which means you can actually understand what she is talking about.

Her blog tackles not only the kind of questions you have discussed with your friends but many other issues that you may not have thought about.

Here are some of the topics she has addressed. Click on each topic to read the full post.

• Do I really need to hire an immigration lawyer?
• Form I-751 while facing Divorce.
• If you have an A- Number, call the Immigration Review Hotline to make sure there are no open issues in your file that you need to address.
• What to do if you have been ordered deported or removed.
• When to schedule an Infopass Appointment and Infopass Do’s and Don’ts.
• Why you should file for US Citizenship.

More helpful information can be found on her blog at www.suburbanimmigrationlaw.blogspot.com.

I also looked at her website, www.cruddenlegal.com, and they offer free consultations. Call 267-536-9127 to schedule one.

Finally, to make sure you don't miss any of her posts, follow her on facebook and stay informed.

Interviews: What Not To Wear!

Rafiki: I am nervous about a business meeting tomorrow.

Red Jade: What are you going to wear? It helps if you are dressed well.

Rafiki: A black suit with a brown and black shirt and brown/black shoes.

Red Jade: Sounds very nice. Business meetings deserve the same dress code as interviews. Talking of interviews, I have to say I am biased against people who do not wear suits to interviews. What do you think?

Rafiki: I always wear one to be safe.....business casual is acceptable for us since we are casual but it still needs to be very proper.

Red Jade: Business casual is always very tricky especially for women. Our dress code at work is also business casual but everyone has their own interpretation.

Rafiki: I think that is the problem. It is better to narrow your definition and err on the side of caution.

Red Jade: I once interviewed someone who showed up wearing a bright pink skirt suit with matching shoes! It was really hard to concentrate on her responses.

Rafiki: I have a feeling she did not get the job.

Red Jade: Yeah, unfortunately she did not make it to Round 2. I was concerned that she might wear the same suit for business meetings with clients. Then there was the other person who had clearly taken the trouble to dress really nicely only problem is that she was dressed as though she was going on a date - body hugging, low cut dress and stilettos.

Rafiki: I had an interviewee who was wearing a very low top once and I almost said something about it. Even the guys at the office were embarrassed. The wrong attire makes people get the wrong message and not take you seriously.

Red Jade: Unfortunately, if you dress inappropriately for an interview, the interviewer is left questioning your judgment. So as an HR Expert, what items should you NOT wear to an interview?

Rafiki: Very strong perfume, anything that will distract like loud colors, large jewelry pieces, trendy clothes. Stick to dark colors, simple lines and closed shoes with a small heel. Hair should be well kept.

Red Jade: Are braids ok for an interview?

Rafiki: I think they are tricky because people still have their biases. I loved that Liza wore hers during the Apprentice and she looked very professional.

Red Jade: Yes, she did manage to pull off the look very successfully. I think it was because the rest of her attire was professional and sleek, and had the simple lines you mentioned earlier. So you would advise someone to take down their braids for an interview?

Rafiki: I would not say they must take them down, but I would advise someone to consider the culture of the company they are interviewing with.

Red Jade: What about makeup? To makeup, or not to makeup: that is the question.

Rafiki: I think makeup is fine as long as it is a day look with neutral colors. I would stay away from the red lipstick.

Red Jade: I remember reading somewhere that women who wear makeup and in particular lipstick are considered more professional than those who do not. And they earned 30% more than women who did not! I now make an effort to wear makeup every work day, but still waiting for the 30% raise.

Rafiki: Very interesting. I wear makeup because I like it but it is nice to hear it makes a good impression.

Red Jade: What advice do you have for guys at an interview?

Rafiki: Suit, Simple lines, dark leather shoes, dark colors and clean shaven. A tie depends on the company culture but a suit is a good idea. In general a well groomed look.

Red Jade: I think the suit should be dark colored - dark grey or navy blue. The belt should match the shoes and the socks should match the pants. No white socks, please.

Rafiki: Definitely no white socks. A nice watch is a nice touch. There are lots of videos on youtube on interview tips. Here is one from Monster UK.

Google Zeitgeist 2011 Young Minds Competition

Are you making a positive impact in the world?
Are you currently living in the EMEA (Europe, Middle East, Africa) region?
Don't miss this opportunity to join Zeitgeist 2011.
Watch the video for more details.

What we can learn from the Amazing Liza Mucheru-Wisner

Juice Your Lemons
Liza has always been a fan of the apprentice. While watching the celebrity Apprentice season with Brett Michaels, she heard that Mr. Trump was interested in hearing about how the recession was affecting Americans. She had just lost a contract with a school and was mulling over what was next for her business. So she decided to write an email to the show and tell them her story. In a brief email she shared her strong feelings and attached her resume. A few weeks later, she got the call that would change the rest of her life.

Be Adaptable And Open
The call was from a producer on the Apprentice. They had a phone conversation which was an interview of sorts and after that she was invited to go to LA and audition for the show. Though she was blown away by the invitation, she had a fulltime job and a family to think about so the audition took a little rearranging and planning. After a few weeks she went to LA for the longest interview of her life. She was there for six days undergoing interviews, debates and psychological testing. These interviews were even more grueling than the actual show. Liza says that the sessions taught her to fight and defend her position. This began her journey on TV vying to be The Apprentice.

You Are More Prepared Than You Think
Looking back she realizes that her background prepared her for the Apprentice. She was involved in public speaking in high school and various student boards in college. She came to the US as an international student from Kenya and had to learn to get along with all kinds of people. Since there were hardly any Kenyans at her school, she build a new community around other international students and Americans. All these experiences taught her how to listen and communicate her point effectively which led to her placing in 3rd on The Apprentice. She says that as an immigrant; if you come across as as being open and kind and friendly, people will find something in common with you.

See A Need/Fill A Need
Liza started her company-Texas Techies because she saw wanted more for her kids. The company creates technology rich environments that inspire everyone to reach their full potential. Liza is convinced that technology is the bridge for communities because it makes all kinds of information accessible to everyone. She started the company on her kitchen table and started out by researching different ways to teach kids. They started by building a portable computer lab to take to schools to help teachers enhance their lessons. Liza shares her time between her company and her fulltime position with the Elite graduate program at Texas A&M-Corpus Christi.

Know Your Enemy/Know Your Strategy
Liza showed a fighting spirit on the Apprentice. Though she was on the hot seat several times, she made it to third place on the show which was quite an achievement. She says that the show taught her how to defend herself and be her best salesperson. The show also helped her learn a lot about herself and how important it is to know your competition. She had great things to say about Donald Trump and her great admiration for him. She enjoyed spending four hours on the golf course with him and appreciated his passion for his work and family. His advice to Liza was "be in love with what you are doing and you will find success." She is living that out.

Your Passion Is A Gift

Liza says she always wondered why she always felt like she had to take action; she just could not let it go when she saw injustice or inequality. She has learnt to see her passion as a gift and quotes Gandhi saying "we must be the change we want to see in the world". She loves technology and loves helping people. She is glad opportunities for her business have opened up and has a vision of expanding it to Kenya. Since the show she has had a lot to think about and is working on a life plan and a rollout plan for expanding Texas Techies.

Her Parting Words
"It is tough to live your dreams and sometimes you want to throw in the towel and live a mediocre life but don't. You will face adversities but push through them. If you climb the mountain, there are great things on the other side."

Facing your Financial First?

Like your first love, financial firsts can be exciting, exhilarating and a little scary. Here are some things to think about before plunging in;

• Applying for the first credit card: It is a good idea to apply for a credit card as long as you have the discipline to pay it off. Look out for 
• Cards that sell you a membership which means you get a card with a balance that you did not actually spend; 
• Cards that have annual fees unless they have a great benefit such as 1% cash back and in this case they should be from a reputable bank
• Cards with a very high interest rate. Even with no credit, it is possible to shop for a low interest rate. Click here to read about a woman who ended up with a 79% interest rate.  

• Renting the first apartment: It is important to research your area and find out about crime rates before renting an apartment. Many police departments have the crime rates posted on a city website and is readily available. It may also be useful to use a free apartment locating service because they are usually familiar with the reputation of the complex. They also help you shop around for the best deal. Make sure to visit your potential home at night before you sign the lease.    
• Buying the first car: If you can, try and save the money to buy your first car. If this is not possible apply for a car loan from a credit union which will usually have a lower interest rate. Most car dealers are willing to finance the car but at a much higher rate. Calculate how much you will spend on the car and make sure it is not so much more than the car is worth. Do not be left holding the bag. 
• Buying the first home: This is a major undertaking and need lots of research. Give yourself a year to learn as much as you can about loans and the housing values in your area before making the purchase. Many counties have free home buying seminars that are usually helpful. Click here for a great article on how to buy your first home. 

While this is a daunting task, there are many resources that can help you through the process. Here is a great article on financial first's on forbes.com. This website is a great financial resource. 

Here's to successful financial firsts that will hold positive memories for a long time to come. 

When I Feel Lost . . .

The books that satisfy my soul are books written by immigrants. They give voice to feelings that lodge deep in my soul that I sometimes struggle to articulate, and they help me make sense of issues that weigh heavily on my mind.

I feel kinship with such authors regardless of where they are from. After all we are all in the same boat – away from home, in a foreign land, trying to make the best of our circumstances.

So I am always delighted when I discover a new “immigrant” author. Today, I came across Teju Cole, a Nigerian author in New York, who has published a new book, “Open City”.

Critic Taylor Antrim, of The Daily Beast, says “Teju Cole's meditative novel about a Nigerian immigrant in New York is the best, and darkest, first novel of this early year.”

According to Antrim, “Julius, the protagonist in the novel, looks like the bright side of globalism—born in Africa to a German mother and Nigerian father, educated in New York, now one year from his medical degree—but he feels off-step, adrift”.

This prompts Antrim to ask, “Is this the cost of emigration? An amorphous unease, a sense of never being at rest or at home?”

Many of us struggle with this feeling, never feeling quite at home, in our new home. I am interested to see how Cole tackles this issue. Needless to say, I will be ordering this book immediately.

Did You Know?-Tuition-Free Colleges

1. Berea College

• Berea College

Every student who attends Kentucky's Berea College receives a full-tuition scholarship worth more than $25,000. Berea also helps students with other costs, such as food, room and board, by providing a work study program. Students also receive a free laptop to use while they are in school. Berea offers the opportunity to major in many different subjects. The most popular majors are business, manufacturing, family studies and human development.

2. Alice Lloyd College

• Alice Lloyd College

US News and World Report ranks Alice Lloyd College among the best U.S. colleges to graduate with the least amount of debt. This Kentucky school offers guaranteed tuition to any student in the college's 108-county Central Appalachian service area. Students work 10-20 hours each week to pay their way. Alice Lloyd offers degrees in a wide range of fields as well as pre-professional programs.

3. Webb Institute

• Webb Institute

The Princeton Review ranks Webb Institute among the Best Value Colleges in America. The school is known for providing a top-notch engineering education along with full-tuition scholarships to anyone who attends. Students live in a mansion while they attend school and participate in paid internships for extra cash.

4. College of the Ozarks

• College of the Ozarks

Located in Missouri, the College of the Ozarks is a conservative Christian school that cheerfully discourages student debt. The school has been nicknamed 'Hardwork U' because students work 15 hours each week to graduate tuition-free. The College of the Ozarks favors applicants who are financially needy. Popular majors include business, teaching, education and criminal justice.

5. Curtis Institute of Music

• Curtis Institute of Music

The Curtis Institute of Music offers full-tuition scholarships to everyone who gains admission. The school is very particular when it comes to applicants, accepting only 160 new students each year. Those who do get in can expect to receive an excellent education from one of the best music conservatories in the world.

6. CUNY Teacher Academy

• CUNY Teacher Academy

The City University of New York offers full-tuition scholarships to students who enroll in their Teacher Academy. Every student who enrolls is eligible. Students also receive a full-time teaching position in a New York school upon graduation.

7. Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering

• Olin College

At one point, the Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering offered a full-tuition scholarship to anyone who attends. The school has since reduced the scholarship policy by 50 percent. Even so, Franklin W. Olin College still offers one of the largest merit scholarship programs in the country to all admitted students.

Source:Lifelonglearningblog